stripped - anger management

anger management. 

recently, 

i get annoyed very easily, 

angry very easily, 

hurt very easily. 

i seriously dont know what happened. 

my brother says coz i've been bottling in all my feelings and its affecting everyone around me. 

my emotional intelligence has gone downhill 

and somehow this feeling of rage has taken over me. 

everytime i am annoyed or hurt, it pretty much turn into anger. 

i've been trying to control myself from being a person that i dont want to be. 

but everytime when i am angry. i feel like just punching the wall, 

throwing/breaking my stuffs eg: phone, laptop, things that i'm holding at the moment. 

just recently i was really angry about something that is not even big, 

i threw my phone on the wall with all my might. 

at that time, i did not care anymore. 

i just lost it. 

or when i get verbal, 

my heart will start to heat up and i feel like my head is going to explode!

my hand starts to shake as i am trying to control myself. like literally trying my very best to not explode.

cla even said that i've turned into this ogre (not her exact words but kinda like and ogre)

i dont know what happen, but it feels like i'm bound to have a huge chance of having high blood pressure when i'm older. damn i need help! and this is not me exaggerating or wanting to seek attention. its just me acting dumb. 

anyways i'm working on it. trying to shift my attention to something more important. exams is soon anyways and i guess its best if i just focus on that this time round. i'm already a disappointment what more can i be right? 

anyways, i hope you guys have a great week ahead. 

 take care~